24/7 BDSM: A relationship in which protocols are in
place continuously.
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Animal transformation fantasy: Fantasy in which the focus is on the sub
entering the altered mindspace
of a different
species, typically a dog,
pony or horse.
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Abrasion: Using something rough (such as sandpaper).
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Aftercare: The time after a BDSM scene or play session
in which the participants
calm down, discuss
the previous events and
their personal reactions
to them, and slowly come
back in touch with
reality. BDSM often involves
an endorphin
high and very intense experience,
and failure
to engage in proper aftercare
can lead to
subdrop as these return
to more everyday
levels.
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Age play: Usually referring to Daddy/daughter or
Mommy/baby role play. Does
not usually include
or imply aspects of incest,
but rather the
nurturing relationship
of Parent/child or
Teacher/student.
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Anal torture: The BDSM practice of inflicting pain on
the anus.
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Animal Play: The sub acts or dresses like an animal
(puppy, pony, cow, etc.).
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Auctioned off: Dom/me auctions off the Slave to the highest
bidder (usually supervised
and for temporary
use).
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Bad pain: Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly
by BDSM practitioners,
signifying that whilst
BDSM may include an element
(often quite
pronounced) consensual
pain, there is a purpose
to it, and some pain is
consented to and
accepted whilst other pain
is not. "Bad
pain" is pain which
is outside hard
limits, non-mutual or non-valued,
not wished
for, and of limited or
no value in this context.
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BDSM: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission,
Sadism/Masochism
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Bottom: submissive or one who gives up control,
or simply one who receives
physical sensation
from a Top in a scene.
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Breath Control: The Dom controls the sub's breathing.
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Butt plug: Much like a dildo, only shaped slightly
differently. They come
in a variety of sizes;
some can vibrate.
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Chastity: a form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm
denial whereby a person
is prevented from
access to, or stimulation
of, their genitals,
save at the whim or choice
of their partner,
usually by means of a device
(called a chastity
belt or sometimes for men
a cock cage) that
prevents contact and is
controlled by means
of a lock by the partner.
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CBT: Cock and ball torture
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Collared: Submissive or slave who is owned (usually
in a loving intimate relationship)
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Collaring: The formal acceptance by a dom, of a sub's
service. Also the Ceremony
when a Dom commits
to a sub (much like a wedding).
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Consent: Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene
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Consensual non-consensuality: A mutual agreement that within defined
limits, or subject to a
safe word or other
restrictions, and commonsense,
consent will
be given as read without
foreknowledge of
the exact actions planned.
As such, it is
a show of trust and understanding
and usually
undertaken only by partners
who know each
other well, or otherwise
agree to set clear
safe limits on their activities.
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Contract: A written-out agreement between the Dom/me
& sub. It can be either
formal or non,
and is usually written
after much negotiation
by the Dom/me and the sub,
outlining what
structure, guidelines,
rules and boundaries
to the relationship are
agreed upon by the
two . It is NOT legally
binding but should
be taken seriously.
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Dominant (dom/domme) (also dominatrix)
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Domme: Female who takes control (contraction of
dominatrix)
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D/s: Domination/submission
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Dungeon: Usually referring to a room or area with
BDSM equipment and play
space
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Edgeplay: SM play involving blood, permanent marking,
knives, or fire, sometimes
with a greater
risk of danger.
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Erotic sexual denial: keeping another person aroused while delaying
or preventing resolution
of the feelings,
to keep them in a continual
state of anticipatory
tension and inner conflict,
and heightened
sensitivity. Also see tease
and denial and
chastity.
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Fetish: A specific obsession or delight in one
object.
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Good pain: Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly
by BDSM practitioners,
signifying that whilst
BDSM may include an element
(often quite
pronounced) of consensual
pain, there is
a purpose to it, and some
pain is consented
to and accepted whilst
other pain is not.
"Good pain" is
therefore pain that
is mutually agreed, desired
or permitted
by the submissive partner
to be experienced,
and seen by them as of
enjoyment or value.
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Golden showers: Urinating on, or being urinated on by,
another person.
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Hard limits: What someone absolutely will not do, usually
non-negotiable.
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Harem: A group of subs serving one or more Dom/mes.
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Impact play: Part of sensation play, dealing with impact
such as whips and riding
crops.
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Infantilism: Parent/child or parent/baby role playing.
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Knife play: Slow, methodical sensation of the bottom
with the edges and points
of knives, usually
without cutting the skin.
Fear of the weapon
plays a large part in the
stimulus of the
bottom.
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Limits: What someone "won't" do or is
hesitant to do
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Masochism: Act of receiving pain for sensual/sexual
pleasure.
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Masochist: Person who enjoys pain, usually sexually.
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Mummification: Immobilising the body by wrapping it up,
usually with multiple layers
of tight thin
plastic sheeting. Breathing
and other safety
measures must be appropriately
taken care
of, often by leaving the
face (or at least
the mouth and nose) open.
Body temperature
(maintained to an extent
by movement) may
also be affected so a warm
environment and
warm aftercare may be important.
Mummification
is often used to enhance
a feeling of total
bodily helplessness, and
incorporated with
sensation play.
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Needle play: Temporary piercings done with sterile needles
of varying gauges, usually
only for the duration
of a scene.
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Newbie: Someone new to BDSM.
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OTK: Over the knee (spanking).
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Pain slut: A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree
of pain but may or may
not necessarily enjoy
submitting.
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ProDomme: Female professional dominant (charges money)
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Ponygirl or Ponyboy: Sub is dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth
bit and anal plug with
a tail. They are told
to prance or behave like
a pony.
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Puppy Play: Sub is made to act like a puppy. Sub barks,
whines, eats from a bowl,
etc. Such play
is almost never sexual,
but rather focuses
on the altered mind-space
of bottom/pup.
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Sadism: The act of inflicting pain.
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Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually
sexually.
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Safeword - When a participant utters a safeword, BDSM
activity stops.
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Scat play: Feces play
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Scene: A time period of BDSM activities.
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Sensation play: BDSM play where the intent is to push people's
sensory limits, thus exploring
texture, sensory
deprival, through to whips,
flaggillation
and edgeplay.
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Session: A time period of BDSM activities with a
ProDom/me.
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Slave: Person who gives up a great degree of control
in an ongoing D/s relationship,
sometimes
with few remaining limits.
Often those who
identify as "slave"
have a great
desire for being of service
to their dominant,
sometimes referred to as
"service-oriented
submission."
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Slave Position: Also called The Pleasure Position. Sub
is kneeling, legs spread,
head down and hands
on thighs, with palms up
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Soft Limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do
or nervous to try. They
can sometimes be
talked into the activity.
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Subdrop: A physical condition, often with cold-
or flu-like symptoms, experienced
by a submissive
after an intense session
of BDSM play. This
can last for as long as
a week, and is best
prevented by aftercare
immediately after
the session.
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Submissive, or "sub" for short. Person that gives up control
either all the time or
only during a scene
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Subspace: A "natural high" that a sub gets
during a scene or when
being controlled.
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Switch: Someone who likes being both Dominant and
submissive, either in one
scene or on different
occasions.
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Tease and denial: keeping another person aroused while delaying
or preventing resolution
of the feelings,
to keep them in a continual
state of anticipatory
tension and inner conflict,
and heightened
sensitivity. Also see orgasm
denial.
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Top: Dominant person either all the time or
only during a scene.
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Topping from the bottom: A submissive who nonetheless wants to direct
the top.
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Training: Either referring to a short period of time
(a scene) or an ongoing
effort of the Dom/me
teaching the sub how to
act. Can either be
a playful thing or a serious
thing, depending
on the couple.
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Vanilla: Someone who is not in the lifestyle. Alternatively,
sexual behaviour which
does not encompass
BDSM activity. The term
is sometimes used
in a derogatory sense.
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Wannabe: Someone who thinks or claims to be knowledgeable
about BDSM, but is not.
Especially prevalent
with new Doms.
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Wax play: The Dom/me drips hot wax on the sub.
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